T'was the night before April Fool's. Hmm...there is much pranking to be done. Anyone have any good ones?

On a completely unrelated note, I was talking to Kim online when she sent me this news item.

Well then. *clicks 'RESUME' on mp3 download*

I, of course, must have been the last person to read about this decision. Cuz when I sent the link to Richard, he responded: "Dude. That's soooo 9AM this morning".

Jeesh. I'm really behind on my current events.

In other news...I've been having some minor discomfort from my upper left wisdom tooth all week. I've had two wisdom teeth in the bottom row of my teeth removed five years ago. But I still had two in my upper row remaining. So I went into the dentist today expecting to have a consultation on whether I should have them pulled out (especially considering exams are fast approaching) and whether or not the extraction would require full or only local anesthesia. After examining the x-ray the dentist asks: "Do you want me to take it out right now? I can do it in 20 minutes."

Uhhhhh.....

I love teeth extraction about as much as the next guy. So you can tell I wasn't exactly giddy about getting the procedure done sooner. But I figured hey...what the hell. Might as well get it over with...especially before my exams start. So pretty soon the dentist clunks the metallic instruments he's going to use onto my chest (I HATE when they do that). Before I can even say "mrphfl" he's poked my gums with a needle. Local anesthesia sets in and soon my cheek feels numb. Then my tongue. I hear a loud 'CRACK' and then it was pretty much over. I had to admit...he was a pretty good dentist. I ended up rushing back to my Immigration class with a bloody gauze in my mouth and only being about 30 minutes late.

I did get a vial of Tylenol #3 medication though. Yippee. Of course people at school were like: "Make sure you save a few of those tablets for exams when you can't sleep".

Another student suggested: "Dave, you should have acted hysterical and asked for valium!"

Sigh. Law school people are such druggies at exam time.

It's funny because when we started school...we were handed these thick packets of readings. One of the first readings we read, I distinctly remember, was on the stress amongst lawyers and prevalance of alcohol and drug abuse within the profession.

*glances down at Tylenol #3 bottle*

Well I guess I've just started.

Sooooo...now that exams are approaching how can I procrastinate? Ooooh!!!! I know!!!! I can create a law school cartoon character!

Done. Hmmm....what next???

I know!!! Instead of studying I can create an animated short film about characters at our law school! So....I debut here the world's first ever episode of LAW SCHOOL SQUAD!!!

Before you play it you need to know a few things:

1. Richard bought a murse. If you didn't read about it before, you can read it here.
2. The student lounge at our school has crappy brown and orange decor.
3. None of the outlets seem to work so we can't plug in all the microwaves otherwise the circuit blows.
4. The student society has been talking about spending last year's surplus money on lounge renovations.

Hmm...on second thought it's not that funny when you need to explain everything.

Oh well. Watch the fiasco. (200kb so might take some time to load for you dialup people. And my crappy server is having problems with overload so try reloading again later if it gives you an error).

The other day, I was riffling through my jacket pockets in search for change for the laundry when out pops a packet of panty liner.

Hold the phone. What?

Yes. Panty liner. Packaged in plastic and labelled in clear black font. Now contrary to popular belief, I don't actually need this stuff. So I'm not sure how it got into my pocket. Like, ohmigod! Like this brand chafes, yo! *fluffs hair*

I had my suspicions of who tucked it into my pocket. So I'm out having lunch with the girls today when I ask them if they know anything about this.

Hilarity ensues amongst them.

Hmmm. So now I know they did it, I will hatch a plan for a masterful prank on them. Muhahahahahahahaha! And then I will take over the world!!!

Y'all been warned now. *evil grin*

I've never realized how really pungent the smell of curry can be. Funny how it can be such a deliciously, earthy and satisfying smell when you are eating the dish but it isn't so pleasant when you aren't eating it.

One of the problems of making curry entirely from scratch (using actual curry leaves and mustard seeds) is that the spices release a much more powerful smell than if you were to just open up a jar of pre-made curry paste or sauce. After my last curry cooking fiasco I learned a few things. First of all, if you plan to make curries from scratch, you really shouldn't cook indoors. Second of all, if you do make the curry indoors, make sure you have proper venting for your stovetop. Third of all, if you do make it indoors but don't have proper venting, you really shouldn't make it at all if you live in a small bachelor apartment where the smell will not only permeate your kitchen but also your entire living area and your clothes.

After cooking curry on the Sunday I walked into class, oblivious that the smell of curry had permeated my clothes. Somehow the smell disappears from consciousness after you sit in the room for a few minutes. You don't realize the smell is still there...but other people who walk into the room do.

I sat beside a buddy at school that I like to call "Princess Marta". He greeted me with his usual moniker for me: "Good morning, Brigadier-General Chun-Li Vonfinkelstein the Third". The story as to why he chose that nickname for me is a seperate story.

His nose wrinkled as he cautiously sniff-tested the air as I sat down beside him for class.

"What did you have this morning?"

"Sorry dude. I made curry last night. The smell must be in all my clothes now."

"Oh."

Then midway through class he turns to me with a completely straight face and says: "You know...I'd like to have you with some coconut cream and naan bread."

Spicy. *rowr*

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at that.

When I returned home I found the smell of curry still occupied my apartment. I cleaned everything taking extra care to wipe down the entire counter and stovetop and then the floors. I opened my windows and went for a walk outside. When I returned, to my dismay, the smell of curry was still there. It was as if it was mocking me. Taunting me. It had not gone away. And it staunchly declared that it was moving in with me whether I liked it or not.

The following day I bought a Glade Plugin Scented Oil. "Rainshower Mist". I think that's the scent I bought. I plugged it in and went to school.

When I returned, I was amazed. Amazed because the curry smell was still there. Along with the Rainshower Mist. That's the problem with these damn scented oils! They don't deodorize. They only try to cover up and overpower the offensive odour with perfume. Normally that strategy works against other smells. But when the smell you're trying to cover up is such a resiliant and tough little bastard like curry, it doesn't do the trick. It's like sending in peacekeepers into the nuclear battlefield. Totally inadequate. Total slaughterfest.

Great. So now my apartment smelled like a caravan of dusty curry and spice traders had frolicked in bathwater infused with rose petals. Sure it's all very exotic sounding but let me assure you it wasn't so pleasant smelling. In fact it was worse. Because now there were two competing smells that couldn't decide what they were. Were they a sweet perfumey kind of smell? Or were they a savoury spice kind of smell? Curry Rainshower Mist. It was the most schizophrenic of smells I have ever smelled. Sorta like the smell you get when you walk into an old building and each apartment you walk by contributes its own waft of smell into the hallway--so of course when you walk into the hallway it's all combining into this nightmare smogasbord of odours. Well that's was the odour in my apartment. A buffet of curry and spring flowers.

I decided that I would have to fight fire with fire. I would have to cook something else that would be as strong as the curry. Some ingredient that had an odour that was as tough and scrawny as the curry. What did I pick to cook? Bacon. Because I can't think of anything else that has a more pungent and more genuine smell than bacon. Bacon has that rich fatty and greasy smell that screams out "eat me for breakfast". It's not a smell that's particularly dignified or shy. If the smell of bacon was personified, it would be the stereotypical fat American with sweaty palms wearing a dirty shirt with armpit sweat stains. He'd shake your hand and tell you good jokes. Likeable but definately not healthy.

I cooked up a batch of bacon in my pan. After eating my bacon egg bacon and more bacon english muffin sandwich, I walked out into the hallway to normalize my sense of smell.

I walked back into my apartment.

The curry and spice traders were still there. And apparently it was still raining rose petals. But now I could distinctly tell that my spice travellers were not Muslim or Orthodox Jews. Turns out the spice traders had just sacrificed and roasted a pig to their gods in celebration of the glorious good fortune of having rainshowers in the middle of the parched desert.

Sigh.

To make a long story shorter...it took me two entire weeks before I was finally able to evict the smell of curry from my apartment. The smell of rainshowers is still going on strong however.

On a related note, the hallway of my building still smells like curry.

We had a client come in the other day who had invented something. We gave him some basic information on confidentiality agreements, patents and copyright. He never told us what his invention exactly was but even if he had, because of the fat ol' confidentiality agreement we have to sign, I wouldn't be able tell yah anyway.

Regardless, that only left me and my friend to try to come up with some of the most useless inventions that a inventor could possibly try to patent.

ME: Maybe it's like a wooden handle to help you carry multiple heavy plastic shopping bags without hurting your hand. (I had read the idea somewhere on this guy's Livejournal). I can see it already: www.woodenhandle.com!
FRIEND: Wait. That sounds handy.
ME: Oh. OK. Well in that case...how about a handy spoon that also has knife edge to it. Kinda like how the "spork" is both a spoon and fork. But now this is a "spife".
FRIEND: Good for salads?
ME: www.spife.com
FRIEND: OK that's dumb.
ME: You heard it here first dude.
FRIEND: Right.
ME: *thinking* I see liability suits of people cutting up their tongues.
FRIEND: I don't think the spife is meant to go into your mouth. It's like to cut stuff, and then you can scoop it up and throw it in the wok or pot. Actually wait. That's pretty handy.
ME: Damn. We're not so good at this are we? How about a drink coaster that is a coaster for other coasters. When you don't want your quality drink coasters to be ruined...
FRIEND: Kinda like the repo truck that picks up other repo trucks?
ME: www.coasters4coasters.com. Yah exactly.

Well...if anyone does go on to patent these ideas and becomes all rich and famous, make sure you throw us a bone, eh?

This was all pre-Columbine. There was this kid in my high school that never talked to anyone. And I really mean not a word. Zip.

Not surprisingly, he was kinda ostracized by all other the kids which only led to people making fun of him. He used to have his locker right next to me so I tried to engage him in conversation as best I could. At the beginning of the year he thought I was also trying to make fun of him. However, by end of the school year I was able to engage him in a simple four-sentence conversation comprising of the following: "Hey!"; "Hello."; "Have a good weekend!"; "You too".

And when other kids asked me why I even bothered talking to him. I told them: "Dude one day that kid is gonna go crazy. And he's gonna come in here with a German made 50 caliber bolt-action rifle with laser guided scopes and he's gonna take all you mofos down."

"Me? He's gonna take me out for breakfast. I'm gonna have the waffles...with milk."

He never did take me out for waffles.

I find this too funny. Must be the lack of sleep. I've been letting it loop on my desktop for the past hour while I was working on an assignment.

Damn.

I haven't thought this through, have I?

Speaking of looping Flash videos...Meghan is now addicted to the Kenya ad I sent her. Har har har. The most surreal thing is if you open a couple windows with them all going and try to get them in harmony.

Man. I need to sleep more.

Can't sleep. So I'm awake.

Sometimes I really miss photography. I haven't taken any photos for an extremely long time. Kinda wish I owned a decent digital camera, so I could go out and shoot night shots of downtown whenever I can't sleep. Sometimes, I also wish that I lived in a bigger city so there would be more interesting things at night to take photos of.

Oh well.

A friend of mine is trying to produce a documentary and has asked me to be his "Director of Photography". Hah. Sounds like fun. Count me in! Which means I should probably start shooting photos again. You only seem to get that intuitive eye for composition after shooting lots and lots of photos. And if you don't practice it you seem to lose it. Which means I've probably lost it long ago.