FORE!!!!!!!!!!!

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I could very possibly be one of the worst golf players ever to hit the greens. So what better way to spend a weekend, but royally embarrassing myself on a golf course?

My brain: Sounds like a plan!
Minister responsible for better judgement: I'm sold! When do we go?

This weekend, my friend Danny, his girlfriend Clio, and her family have invited me to go up to Whistler with them. Apparently Clio's family are golf nutz, so I suspect they should have loads of fun playing in Whistler. (There are three golf courses in the Whistler Village area alone...all of them considered to be in the Top 100 golf courses of North America. Go figure.)

Now if I haven't made the point clear already, let me do so now. I really CAN'T play golf worth beans. And I'm not even talking about the magic kind of beans here either. I'm talking about those worthless dried lima beans you can buy in the bulk section at your local grocery.

Yeah those kind of beans.

You see...I have this rather vicious slice. A long time ago, I even got a pro golf instructor to help me work it out. But since I haven't played golf for such a long time, my slice has returned with a vengence. And it's brought along its cousins, Mr. Hook and Mr. Crap-Distance, as roommates.

*groan*

Suffice to say, considering the accuracy of my drives, I could probably get closer to the holes (with fewer strokes mind you) by simply putting from the tee. Yeah. Hmmm...maybe that's what I will do. Treat each hole as a huge mini-golf course. Heh.

Or I guess I could try to see how many other players I can hit with my infamous slice. I figure if I can hit a wife and husband with a single golf ball, that'll be worth extra bonus points. Redeemable for free drinks at the clubhouse, or something like that. (Deduct 10 points for slow moving seniors, and add 10 points for hitting spry youngsters).

And if all else fails, I can always hop up a golf cart and race it around the golf course in the World Rally Championship style. Lots of jumps, skids and slides. Perhaps even do some time trials against my bud, Dan.

I had something like this in mind. Except with the golf carts instead. Hehehe. *Evil grin* (Photos courtesy of Wrc-Online.net.) Hmm...so why do I get this strange feeling that I'm going to get a lifetime ban at all the golf courses in Whistler? Hehehe. But seriously. Will someone teach me how to golf properly? Please?

Bah.

Wish me luck with hitting the seniors.

Posted by Dave at May 31, 2002 12:15 AM