If my life was a low budget Korean music video...

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I've been watching a number of Korean music videos lately. The premise/story behind all the videos are soooooo formula based that I think I could create the story of a music video as well.

Don't believe me? Here. Lemme come up with a storyboard mock up...

FADE IN:

SCENE I : EXT. CITY STREET in KOREA, NIGHT - RAINING.
WOMAN is standing outside in the POURING RAIN. We clearly see she doesn't have an UMBRELLA and that she is getting SOAKED. It's obvious that she just broke up with a BOYFRIEND. And she is CRYING.

MUSIC starts. The song is probably entitled something along the lines of: "Missing You", "Want to see you", "Always remember you", or something equally sappy.

SCENE II : INT. PHOTO STUDIO in KOREA, NIGHT - RAINING.
Cut to shot of a guy. He is a PHOTOGRAPHER working in a STUDIO. We see that the WOMAN who we saw earlier (the one who broke up with her BOYFRIEND) is standing outside this PHOTOGRAPHER's STUDIO. Apparently these two people don't know each other. Conveniently, this PHOTOGRAPHER is closing shop for the day. PHOTOGRAPHER notices the girl standing outside in the rain. He runs out with his UMBRELLA and hands his UMBRELLA to this WOMAN. He motions for her to come into his STUDIO, from the rain. We are not sure why, but the WOMAN (even though she has just broken up and sad) decides to follow him back into the STUDIO.

WOMAN is still in a daze and sad. PHOTOGRAPHER makes COFFEE. She drinks her COFFEE. They don't talk. She stands up to leave the STUDIO. PHOTOGRAPHER motions to the WOMAN to take the UMBRELLA. We're not sure why. I guess he just likes giving out UMBRELLA's to complete strangers.

WOMAN leaves with UMBRELLA.

SCENE III : PHOTOGRAPHER's STUDIO. DAY - SUNNY.
WOMAN comes back to the STUDIO. Apparently this is the next day and she is here to return the UMBRELLA to the guy. PHOTOGRAPHER is in the middle of doing a still life photo shoot of ROSES. He notices the WOMAN. Stops to talk to her. This time she isn't crying. Actually, we notice that this girl is quite beautiful.

SCENE IV : COFFEE SHOP. DAY - SUNNY.
Cut to SCENE of a COFFEE SHOP. We see that this PHOTOGRAPHER has managed to score a mini-date with this hot girl. The men who are watching this music video realize that the loaning of UMBRELLAs is a golden idea and promptly go out to buy some UMBRELLAs themselves. UMBRELLA companies make a fortune, etc. The UMBRELLA company CEO dies a happy man. But that's another story. Back to this music video. Hmmm. Looks like the PHOTOGRAPHER made a joke by magically making a ROSE appear from behind the WOMAN's ear. WOMAN smiles. For the first time. She's quite PRETTY. So the guys who are still watching this music video asks themselves why such a PRETTY WOMAN is interested in such an ugly guy like him? Hmm... Totally unplausible. Oh well, tis the way of the Korean music video.

SCENE V : PHOTO STUDIO. DAY - SUNNY.
Cut back to PHOTOGRAPHER'S STUDIO. We see the PHOTOGRAPHER. He's wearing different clothes, so it must be a new day. WOMAN enters the STUDIO, again. She SMILES. PHOTOGRAPHER hands her another ROSE. The women who are watching this music video are probably SWOONING.

SCENE VI : PARK. DAY - SUNNY.
Cut to SCENE of PHOTOGRAPHER and WOMAN walking around a theme park (you know...a Disneyland kind of affair). WOMAN is laughing this time. Seems like these two kids are having a good time. Hmmm. They seem to be hitting it off. A few shots of this couple going on some rides together. And they are LAUGHING.

SCENE VII : PHOTO STUDIO. NIGHT - CLEAR.
It's late at night. PHOTOGRAPHER is alone at his STUDIO doing some touch up work or something. He goes to the SINK to wash his hands so he can go home. A shot of the SINK. We see a droplet of red fall into the SINK. Cut to shot of PHOTOGRAPHER's face. He notices that he is having a NOSE BLEED. Koreans who've watched enough Korean drama's and music videos know that this is going to be the end of the PHOTOGRAPHER dude. He's gonna die. (For the uninitiated: Every tragic hero that dies in the Korean movies starts off by having NOSE BLEEDS). The veteran Korean movie watchers know that he's only got a few more SCENES before he's going to kick the bucket.

Of course, our hero, the PHOTOGRAPHER is totally CLUELESS and doesn't know what is in store for him. He just stops the bleeding and cleans up his STUDIO and goes home.

SCENE VIII : CITY STREETS. DAY - OVERCAST.
PHOTOGRAPHER has a bunch of ROSES in his hand. We notice that the LEAVES are falling. It's autumn already. So it's probably safe to say that the PHOTOGRAPHER and the WOMAN are getting more serious (since they probably met during the summer rainy season). Anyway the PHOTOGRAPHER is running somewhere. He's probably late for his date with that WOMAN. Cut to shot of the WOMAN waiting for him at a restaurant. Cut back to a shot of PHOTOGRAPHER. He stumbles. Hmm. His nose is bleeding. Oh this is not good. He falls. Bird-eye camera shot rising above his body as people gather around his body.

MUSIC stops.

SCENE IX : HOSPITAL. NIGHT.
A blur of images. DOCTORS and NURSES rushing the PHOTOGRAPHER into the hospital. Overly done camera shot from the perspective of the PHOTOGRAPHER (who is lying in the gurney and being whisked down the hospital hallway with concerned NURSES looking down). We see the ceiling hospital lights flashing by. Blurs.

MUSIC starts up again.

Cut back to SCENE of WOMAN who is still waiting at the restaurant. WOMAN tries calling PHOTOGRAPHER on his CELL PHONE. Cut back to the STUDIO where our PHOTOGRAPHER has obviously left his CELL PHONE. It flashes and rings. Answered by nobody.

SCENE X : HOSPITAL. LATE NIGHT.
WOMAN runs into the HOSPITAL. Obviously she's figured out her man is in serious trouble. We see a DOCTOR coming out to talk to her. DOCTOR shakes his head. WOMAN drops a bouquet of get-well ROSES she was holding. Camera zooms slow motion shot of FLOWERS hitting the FLOOR. This symbolizes the death of the PHOTOGRAPHER. Meh. Too bad.

SCENE XI : FUNERAL. DAY. OVERCAST.
A CROWD of people are surrounding a COFFIN. Presumably this is the PHOTOGRAPHER's coffin. I guess this dude had quite a number of friends. Either that or he was a complete loner and just had a big family. Anyway, everyone is wearing black. It's a funeral, after all. A camera shot of the WOMAN. Camera zooms back out. Funeral service finishes. Suddenly RAIN starts to POUR. The CROWD rapidly disperses to get out of the RAIN. The only person remaining is the WOMAN. She places a ROSE on the COFFIN. She is SOAKING WET now. Ah. Ironic. That's how she met the PHOTOGRAPHER in the first place.

MUSIC and SCENE fades.

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There. That's my first music video. See? It's not that hard to come up with these things.

But I do have a question. Why do all the photographers in Korean movies or music videos always have to die? It's just not fair!

Sigh.

Posted by Dave at March 14, 2002 01:35 AM