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Happy mother's day to all the mothers out there! Three cheers for them all! Yay!
I'm finally going through all my backlog of e-mail messages that I've received in the past few months. I'm always estatic about getting e-mails from strangers who have come by my website...they're like little mini-gifts in my Outlook Inbox. Sometimes they just drop a note to say 'hi' and other times they ask me for advice, like suggested places to travel in South Korea. However, I've been noticing that several e-mails have asked two similar questions. I've decided to share my answers to them:
Question 1: What is with this common theme of 'got-no-girlfriend' on the Internet? Why do you always complain and write about not having a girlfriend?
Answer: I'm not actually complaining, but I find that most people are most interested in my thoughts about life and relationships in general...at least that is what I've been hearing from most feedback from my site. We live in a competitive world and if I don't provide interesting content on this page, its very likely you'll hit some other webpage, or worse, go watch TV. I try to provide engaging content that is funny for me and my potential audience. I could talk about the audible differences within types of polyproplyene film capacitors, potentiometers and attenuators, but I doubt most people enjoy to read about that stuff. Besides, I think most people have a sick morbid sense of humour and they are reassured, nay, even amused by the records of my frantic antics...
Question 2: Aren't you afraid or concerned about writing and having so much of your private life listed and available online?
Answer: Well, that's the great thing about the Internet--it provides a sense of anonymity. Besides, only a slight number of people who read my webpage actually know me in the offline world. Chances most Internet browsers don't know if I'm telling the truth or a lie. Case in point, I've long introduced myself as a three foot albino dwarf...
For all purposes, I could be making all this stuff up and my real name could be Fredrick Salazar, a 34 year old living in Seville, Spain, with a wife and three kids.
Recently I got e-mail spam from a large Internet personals/dating service, which will remain un-named. Internet personals/dating has certainly become popular and has even started to become mainstream culture, ever since Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks starred together in the chick flick, You've Got Mail. Yeah, I've heard both the good and bad stories about meeting people online--in fact, I've experienced one REALLY bad case myself, but that's another story. Personally, I know several friends who've admitted that they've met their current boyfriend/girlfriend online. The anonymity of the Internet is great because it allowed them to build stable relationships based on intellectual compatibility, rather than on hormones and physical attraction. So, I decided to give this website a try...
I logged onto the site and created a new profile. I described myself as an average Canadian three foot albino dwarf searching for the perfect girl. I clicked "register" and didn't give it much thought for several days until I got an e-mail from the website's administration:
From: *********.com
To: mail@davidchun.com
Subject: Your account
Dear Frederick Salazar,
We are sorry to inform you that your profile on our site has been denied approval. In all likelihood your profile has infringed one of our policies regarding profiles. Please read our policy online and re-submit your profile.
Regards,
*********.com
Now in my offline life I deal with enough rejection from women, so usually I'm pretty good at dealing with it. However, this particularly made me a little miffed. I went to read their policy online...basically it said that they would deny any profiles that contained profane or sexual language. My profile was clean as snow! Heck, my grandmother could read it! Of course, given the fact that she only speaks Korean, she wouldn't be able to understand it...but I digress.
This site must be discriminating against Canadians...errr...that's it! I decided to write them back on behalf of all my fellow Canadian buds:
From: mail@davidchun.com
To: *********.com
Subject: My account
Dear *********.com,
I was a little perplexed as to why you denied my profile, as it contained no profane, sexual or other "inappropriate" language as stated in your online policy. Please reply with an explanation as to why my profile was denied.
Regards,
Frederick Salazar.
I thought they wouldn't bother to respond, but several days later I got a response. The soap opera continued:
From: *********.com
To: mail@davidchun.com
Subject: Your account
Dear Frederick Salazar,
Your profile was denied approval for one of the following reasons:
1. An incomplete profile.
2. A "one-liner" profile.
3. E-mail, phone number or ICQ# in the profile.
4. Excessive HTML tags in the profile.
5. Inappropriate content.
6. There are some miscodes in your profile.
Regards,
*********.com
Hmm....Well the lawyer in me knew that they had me..."inappropriate content" is a pretty broad definition that is entirely subjective. However, I'm also certain any two-bit lawyer could convince a jury that what I wrote wasn't completely inappropriate. I admit I was lying about my profiles (as I gave no mention about my wife in Spain or my three kids). But so what? Bill Clinton lied under oath, didn't he? Furthermore, I had no idea what they meant by "miscodes". I decided to fight back:
From: mail@davidchun.com
To: *********.com
Subject: My account
Dear *********.com,
I still do not understood as to why you denied my profile, as it does not infringe any of your stated policies. It was not blank, nor was it a one-line introduction. It did not contain any private identification (such as e-mails or ICQ#s) nor excessive HTML codes and there was certainly no inappropriate content. Please reply with an exact explanation as to why my profile was denied.
Thank you,
Frederick Salazar.
I couple days later I got a response. I chuckled as I read the e-mail:
From: *********.com
To: mail@davidchun.com
Subject: Welcome to *********.com
Dear Frederick Salazar,
Congratulations, your profile has been approved.
Regards,
*********.com
Sigh. They give up too easily. Several days later I got another e-mail from them:
From: *********.com
To: mail@davidchun.com
Subject: Frederick, we've got a match for you!
Dear Frederick Salazar,
We have selected a number of recent profiles that would match your profile:
Match #1:
Handle: sweetlove19
Profile: http://*********.com/profiles/3124-5123.htm
Location: Inner Mongolia, China.
Gender: Woman.
Age: 19.
To see your other matches visit your personal page at *********.com.
Regards,
*********.com
Huh. What do you know. Of all places in the world, my number 1 match--my Internet soulmate--happens to live in Inner Mongolia, China. Sigh.
Well, I guess I'll be flying to China...
Posted by Dave at May 14, 2001 11:46 PM